Seeing Your Ex Boyfriend Again - How To Handle It

Most of us feel a great sense of loss after a breakup. While emotions are still raw, regular bouts of crying are normal, and the inability to look back at the relationship with fondness may be impossible at first. Mourning our losses and coming to grips with what will never be can be difficult. You will need adequate time to heal. Or, you may still be clinging to the hopes that you might end up getting back together with your ex at some point in the future. However, there may come a time when you will want to separate yourself from the past relationship regardless of whether or not you desire a future with this person. This is where the cleaning and purging stage of the break up comes into play.

This is the point after the breakup where you realize that you are actually better off away from your ex, and you may even find yourself getting rid of the things he has given you. However, you could find yourself pining away over your ex boyfriend, hanging onto mementoes from the relationship and staring at his photo. If you're still in this stage of the aftermath of the breakup, you're a long way from being able to let go of this relationship.

Be prepared for how you will act when you see him again

In dealing with the aftermath of a breakup, it is important that the woman set some ground rules for herself. This can be a crucial time period in which the woman needs to handle the situation correctly if she is to ever hope to have a chance at reconciling with her ex boyfriend. This involves knowing how to handle yourself if you happen to see your ex boyfriend again.

If you live near your ex, you will inevitably cross paths at some point. In ideal circumstances, this would occur after you've had some time to deal with the breakup and begin healing from the hurt. Try to avoid situations where you might run into your ex right away to avoid awkward situations where your emotions are written all over your swollen, tear streaked face. Instead, allow yourself some time to get to the point where you won't burst into tears at the sight of him and things won't seem so uncomfortable. If this means temporarily avoiding places that your ex frequents, do so to spare yourself the pain and humiliation.

Feeling Good About Yourself After The Breakup

After the breakup, you need to begin to focus on yourself. Without resorting to some crazy crash diet or getting some drastic makeover, work on sensibly getting yourself looking your personal best. Focus on all of the positive things about yourself and remind yourself each day what a wonderful person you truly are. Remember that your ex once thought you were wonderful as well, as perhaps there is a chance that in the future this will again be the case. Right now, you need to keep the focus on you and being the best possible you that you can be. Perhaps get a new haircut, begin a healthy new exercise program, or get your nails done. This will help you look the best you can and will help to boost your self confidence at this important time.

Remain in Control of Your Emotions

Keep focusing on those positive, calming thoughts. Your emotions are still tender at this point in time, so try not to fly off the handle at the slightest reminder of your ex or the breakup. If you happen to run into your ex, you want him to see you as an assured and confident woman, someone who has truly made peace with the breakup and moved past it. You do not want to present yourself as a lovesick, blubbering mess who weeps at the sight of him. You need to keep control over your own emotions, not hand that control over to him. Try not to dwell on what you've lost, but rather on all that you still have and all that is precious to you. You may also wish to look ahead to the future, realizing that anything is possible, including a reconciliation with your ex.

You may reach a point where you are becoming too anxious about the possibility of seeing your ex boyfriend. If this is the case, perhaps plan an "accidental" meeting so that you can just get it behind you and then move past it. By planning this seemingly accidental encounter, you have the advantage by being able to make sure you look your best and are prepared to handle the situation with maturity and grace. Making the first move toward getting this awkward moment out of the way can help you begin to relax about future encounters. Perhaps plan to visit his favorite lunch spot, or walk past someplace you know he will be. Allow him to see that you are calm, cool, and collected, and he will most likely be impressed with how you are handling the breakup. Seeing you in this light may even make him start to think twice about ending the relationship.

Your Next Steps

This article barely begins to touch upon all the ways you can begin to make him want you back again. If you are going to make your ex have feelings of desire for you and start to chase after you again, you need to be able to interpret the signs that let you know he's still interested. This will help you to plan your next move.

It is helpful for women to learn about and understand what men want from their relationships with women. It is equally helpful to understand the reasons why men pull away from the relationship to begin with. In other words, once you understand what make men tick and why guys "dump" women, you can benefit from the information and use it to your advantage.

Then you've got some more interesting work ahead of you. This involves learning the key step required to get him back, which is to make him attracted to you once again. After re- igniting that old flame of desire, you will find that he will then become more interested in your life and what is going on with you. After he's taken the bait and you've got him interested again, now is the time when you can use special techniques designed to draw him back into your arms...and your life.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/seeing-your-ex-boyfriend-again-how-to-handle-it

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